Okay, the novel is finished. Sort of.

The last few weeks have been a blur of activity including the obligatory trip to OfficeWorks to have the title of your manuscript scrutinised by a pimply geek with a lisp, the last minute panic as you realise you’ve forgotten to give the final chapter a title, confusion over where the change in tense happens, the increasingly annoyed family members who suffer through the obsessive tunnel-vision of final manuscript preparation, and the ignominy of carrying five copies of the manuscript in a sudden shower (what the hell are those water restrictions for again?).

So blogging has been low on the priorities. I have my final set of notes ready to scan when I can be arsed to do so. The thing is, I’m kind of bummed. I’m dissatisfied with the big picture stuff — the way the story hangs. At this (completely subjective) vantage, the whole thing seems like little more than neatly strung together bits of random crap. I was kind of going for a random feel, although preferably without the crap part.

This is why everyone says you should stick your manuscript in a drawer for a while before you prepare it for submission. You need time to see the manuscript with a clear head.

Yeah well, some of us don’t have that time. Some of us need to submit a manuscript with a completely muddled head.

It’s entirely likely that this is just the rambling of a tired writer, sick to death of his own creation, and (it must be said) sick of being a bloody writer for the moment. I’ve spent the last week catching up on an old friend called television.

Couch potatodom is a welcome relief. It’s like living an old cheesy sit com clip show.

The Emerging Writers Festival takes place in Melbourne next weekend 10-11 May 2008. You can catch me at two panel sessions.

Everyone wants to hear what I’ve got to say . . .

So how are writers getting their work out there? Looking at the various innovative ways writers can use to get their work out as well as better ways of accessing the traditional methods.

Featuring Julian Fleetwood, Alice White, Karen Andrews & Benny Walters. Hosted by Simon Groth

10:00AM - 11:00AM
Sunday 11th of May
Yarra Room, Melbourne Town Hall
2nd Floor, Cnr Collins & Swanston Sts, Melbourne

Competing for attention

Why do writers enter competitions? Are they worth the effort or just a convenient way to set yourself a deadline? This session will also discuss the judging of the Arts Hub Reading Room. Learn why judges choose the way they do.

Simon Groth, David Blackman, Ella Holcombe & Samuel Wagon-Watson. Hosted by Benny Walters.

1:45PM - 2:45PM
Sunday 11th of May
Yarra Room, Melbourne Town Hall
2nd Floor, Cnr Collins & Swanston Sts, Melbourne

Best of all, the tickets are cheap! See you there.

In preparation for the Emerging Writers Festival, Melbourne radio 3RRR will host a discussion among festival people (including me) on their retro-titled show Max Headroom.

For people a long way from the Paris End of Collins Street, you’ll be able to stream the show directly from the 3RRR web site.

The show will broadcast on Thursday 8th May at 7:00PM.

Who better to provide help with writing a synopsis than a bloke who, despite his widely accepted genius, has still been dead for 53 years?